"If we put our boobs together we can think better."

Television in American has hit a new low Sunday evenings, brought to us by VH1:

Rock of Love

A bunch of gals compete for the love of one Bret Michaels, lead singer of the 80s hairband Poison. He doesn't have a steady chick, evidently.

He blames rock n' roll.

"Basically . . . rock n roll is an insatiable bitch goddess, but I love her. And I'm just looking for that one woman in my life to participate in that threesome."

Wow, he sounds great.

I told Karen about this and asked if she wanted to compete for the love of Bret Michaels. She declined.

The gals are totally great: they range in age from what looks like 21 to about 36ish-- IQs seem to mirror age, if you know what I mean:

My favorite line: "If we put our boobs together we can think better."

The gals have great credits to their resumes as well:

"I was named Miss Hooters of Illinois and I have the tools to get what I want because of that."

I was wondering: what does one have to do to become Miss Hooters Illinois? Is there a talent competition?

Whatever. This train wreck airs on Sunday nights 9 p.m. eastern standard time.

And if you are still desperate for "reality" television:

Scott Baio is 45 . . . and Single

Basically, the title says it all. Ole Scott wants to know what is keeping him from getting married.

The reference to women he doesn't know as "tail", perhaps?

Whatever

Anyway, Scott call his former gal pals and asks them what he did wrong in the relationship.

It comes down to one basic fact: he's an asshole.

I wish there was a nicer way to say it, but it's pretty simple. And I'm sorry all for all of those Happy Days fans who thought Chachi (sp???) was just the greatest thing since sliced bread, well, there it is. Get over it.

This winner airs Sundays at 10:30 eastern standard time as well.

Enjoy.

I think one will lose about four IQ points per minute when watching these.

I love America.

Land of the free.

Home of B and C list celebrities, their ladies, and the television networks who are too cheap to hire writers to create original programming.