Phlem: It's nature's way of saying: "Dude, you're sick."

Karen has been fighting a cold since last week. She went to work like a good employee trying to quietly sabotage "the man" by getting everyone else sick, hence sending the American economy into an economic tailspin. Wednesday, Karen decided she had enough. Her throat hurt, she couldn't breathe and just was generally agitated. So she stayed home, and in the process was cramping my style.

5 am: Karen woke up. After realizing she wasn't going to work, she went back to sleep.

7 am: Karen woke up again finally. She stumbled downstairs, fed Sadie and I, and crashed on the couch.

7:05 am: Karen dozes and watched TV

10 am: Karen decides she needs drugs. Karen went to CVS to buy some hard core cold medication. She had to sign a form swearing that A.) Karen was not the CEO and president of a meth lab and B.) Karen would not use said product in any operation of said meth lab.

10:30 am: Karen comes home and crashes on the couch again.

11: Karen got bored of daytime TV, which consists of primary coverage, catastrophic tornadoes, and Heath Ledger.

11:03: Karen walks into the kitchen. She sees me sitting on the ledge in front of the kitchen window. Not overly happy, Karen scolded me and took me off the ledge.

This makes no sense. Karen says she doesn't want Sadie and I on the kitchen counter. I wasn't on the kitchen counter. I was on the ledge in front of the window, above the sink. I was sunbathing, for crying out loud. She never once saw me on the kitchen counter.

Who does she think she is? We don't live under the Patriot Act in this household. You have to have PROOF of these actions before she can start fussing and moving me.

11:05 am: I retaliated by biting Karen on the ankle twice as she walked upstairs, almost making her fall.

Hee- hee

11:06 am: Karen called me "homicidal", along with some other things I cannot repeat. I didn't think that was fair. I'm not saying I didn't make an attempt, but I wasn't successful. Therefore I don't think she can call me "homicidal".

Anyway . . .
11:23 am: Karen crawls back into bed. Puts Down with Love in DVD player

11:36 am: Karen falls asleep

2:00 pm: Karen wanders downstairs and plops down on the couch.

The couch is mine during the day. Everyone knows this. How dare she take my space?

2:20 pm: I am thirsty. Yes, I have a water dish, but that's not what I wanted. So I go over to Karen and start rubbing up against her hand as it dangled lifelessly from the couch. I got nothing. So then I jumped up on the couch and sat on her face.

2:21 pm: Karen started screaming at me, alleging that I was trying to kill her. I guess this was her way of refusing to turn on the water in the bathroom sink for me.
I am so about ready start feeding Sadie an excess of kitty treats and have her barf in the underwear drawer.

3:00 pm: Phone rings. I have no idea who called.

3:03 pm: Karen falls asleep AGAIN

4:30 pm: Karen decides she's hungry and fixes soup which she refuses to share with me.

5:30 pm: Karen falls asleep again.

7:00 pm: Watched Alfred Hitchcock movies (Vertigo, Rear Window).

8:00 pm: Karen realizes that she's delusional and can't possibly go to work. Calls in sick.

9:30 pm: Karen falls asleep

11:oo pm: Karen goes to bed

Thankfully, Karen is going back to work in the morning. She's functioning at about half capacity, but she isn't too concerned. I'm just relieved I'll have the house to myself tomorrow. After all, I'm a busy cat and I have plenty of things to do.

Life in the Fast Lane . . . with David Bowie

So much for posting every day, huh???

What do you expect from me: I'm a cat. You should be amazed that I post as often as I do. I've been quite busy as of late on a myriad of projects at home, you know.

Karen partially lost her voice (either due to allergies, congestion, or her career choice in a field which requires much talking). She sounds like Megatron from the Transformers right now. At night when she sleeps it's more like Darth Vader. This turn of events (although quite humorous) is really putting a wrench in my plans for world domination. Don't ask how-- it just does.

Anyway, Karen and I were surfing the web and ran across Sir Paul's latest:

http://music.aol.com/video/ever-present-past/paul-mccartney/1998808

I like this song, which shouldn't surprise anyone, as I typically dig Paul McCartney. But don't the female dancers look like ole one leg???

Let me know your thoughts.

Speaking of music, another occurrence has almost restored my faith in American taste and sophistication:

Did you know that the Eagles new CD, which sold exclusively at WalMart (a.k.a. Satan's Five and Dime), OUTSOLD BRITNEY SPEARS???

Karen loves the Eagles. However, she does not shop at WalMart, as is philosophically opposed to any place of business staying open 24/7, with the exception of two days a year(Christmas and Thanksgiving). For this reason, we are currently listening to Long Road Out of Eden on The Eagles official website.

Our thoughts: the new tracks are too country. And not that awesome country involving getting drunk and committing some form of domestic abuse. More like country attempting some form of legitimacy. Granted, The Eagles are a bit country-- Don Henley is a Texan after all. But we're not liking it all too much.

The old songs are still great-- but I've head those a million times.

Karen is actually more of a Henley fan than an Eagles fan, truth be known. According to her,
his last solo release, Inside Job, was great and very much underrated. She loves both Building the Perfect Beast and End of the Innocence. That's Karen for you-- pretty much adult contemporary.

She was sad a while back when her favorite Police song was played on an oldies station. The other day she discovered that not only was she not familiar with most of the songs on current popular radio, she had no desire to acquaint herself with them.

On that note, I am now announcing a new feature to my blog: songs that Karen likes and I approve.

Anyway, we are relying on You Tube and the like for video splices.

These will be randomly posted. I'm not promising any regularity, as I'm quite busy grooming and devising a plan to overthrow the government.

Anyway, today's song in which Karen likes and I approve:

Life on Mars by David Bowie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueUOTImKp0k

This goes back to 1973. (Karen wasn't even born until 1974.)

Whatever

Featured earlier this year in the Edie Sedgwick biopic Factory Girl, this song is far better than the movie. In fact, the preview of the movie was about twenty times better than the actual ninety something minutes product about a woman who died at the age of 28 from a barbiturate overdose. Granted, she hung out with Andy Warhol and camped out in the Chelsea Hotel, but I didn't see anything else of much importance. Besides, humans don't become interesting until after thirty, so why bother???

Those are my thoughts. FYI: I'm leaving tomorrow evening to spend the week at Karen's parents (Thanksgiving Holidays). I've haven't visited since the whole Paparazzi fiasco at Halloween. Hopefully this will go much better.

Wish me luck. I'll be back probably by Saturday.

Go 'Stros!!!

Have a Fabulous Thanksgiving.