His pulsating appendage moved towards me, like one of those rubber knives . . .

If you haven't figured it out by the header, this is an 'R' rated entry. If you are a minor you should GO, right now, say a few hail Marys, and do your summer reading for school IMMEDIATELY.

If you are offended by discussions regarding writing about sex, then you should go RIGHT NOW as well. Then turn off your television while you're at it.

My plan was to use this as a side bar, but as I wrote it got a little long, so now we've got an actual entry. ENJOY!!!

I read the funniest blog entry about writing sex scenes in novels. It was so funny I couldn't help but pass it on:

http://the-working-writer.blogspot.com/2007/07/sex-scenes.html

The author of the blog, Jenn Holling, referenced an LA Times article (amongst other things), which talked about the 14th century book The Decameron. The Decameron, written in the anecdotal style of the Catebury Tales, is a collection of tales of a naughty nature.If you like tales of a naughtly nature, I would definetely recommend this book. It's totally great.

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-op-smiley18feb18,0,1645686.story?coll=la-news-comment-opinions

Furthermore, did you know about the Literary Review Bad Sex Award? Evidently, the Literary Review nominates authors for this dubious honor. Previous nominees include such literary greats as Tom Wolfe, Salman Rushdie, and John Updike.The entries are totally great and make hysterical readings. Most of the authors are pretty good sports about it. Wolfe did get a little snooty and pointed out that the judges failed to notice he was being ironic through that passage (bad sex, bad writing).

I do agree with Mr. Wolfe (although I am Charlotte Simmons is not my favorite book) and I got the irony when I read it. But Wolfe can do better. I've seen him do better.

So stop whining Mr. Wolfe. We know you are fabulous.

Anyway, when the Bad Sex Nominees for 2007 are announced I am totally publishing the names and the passages. This is just too awesome. . .