I am the Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

What a Bunch of Boobs


So tell me, fair readers: what are your thoughts on the nursing mom picture? First of all, I haven't seen the picture, other than a quick flash (no pun intended) on the evening news and can't find it anymore on the Internet.

Personally, I don't give a rat's ass. You humans are so stupid about nudity, it just amazes me. I run around the house stark raving naked all day long and enjoy it thoroughly. So does Sadie. In fact, we only wear clothes when Karen puts them on us for random reasons, which make no sense to us anyway. On the other hand, Karen is clothed ALL THE TIME. In fact, she is so freaky about nudity that she puts a towel over the shower door so she can't see her own naked derriere in the bathroom mirror as she bathes.

The other day, I heard her talking in horror about a naked woman in the locker room at the gym.

"She was naked," Karen said. "Just standing there naked."

I asked Karen about this. She said that most people are not all out naked in the lady's locker room. Most people change in the bathroom stalls.

Whatever, that is totally beside the point. What I want to share with you is a story that I've been carrying for almost two years because I haven't had the opportunity to tell it:

Karen was at SuperTarget with her mom. (For the local folks, yes, the Target close to Karen's mom's house-- the coolest stuff ALWAYS happens over there, by the way.) She saw a woman with a blanket draped over her, with something obviously under it. Karen assumed that she was nursing (while shopping). The woman was completely covered. Karen saw her twice as she shopped and both times the ta-tas were under wraps (pun intended).

Karen separated from her mom and was looking at DVD players. As she looked she heard a woman talking loudly at the end of the aisle. Karen naturally moved in that directions because she was comparing the prices of DVD players and that's just the direction she was going. As moved closer to the woman, she could hear her ranting about her 12-year-old son being "exposed" to such a thing in public. She was just horrified. The man she was speaking to (I'm assuming was the store manager) kept saying that since she was completely covered he really couldn't do much. The woman kept ranting and raving and freaking out and finally walked towards Karen, who was trying very hard to maintain without laughing hysterically.

"You just had to move closer to see the drama didn't you?" the woman shouted at Karen, with her twelve-year-old in tow. (You gotta feel sorry for that poor kid.)

"Lady, it's a boob," she replied, as the woman stormed off. "Get over it."

A couple of years ago, a bunch of nursing mothers gathered at Houston's Galleria and had a "nurse in", I guess you would call it, all over the mall, when a nursing mother was asked to move to an area for nursing mothers.

My question is this, human readers: if the boobs are covered who cares? And if they aren't, who cares? Isn't that the purpose of the ta-tas to begin with? The reality is your uber repressed Puritanical society is so tightly wound that you guys are sexualizing things that just frankly aren't sexual.

Again, if it bugs you then don't look. As far as the kiddoes, well, wouldn't you rather them see breasts used for their God-given purpose then, well, tanned and stuffed with silicon on the pages of Playboy? Because trust me, dear readers, a human twelve-year-old male has totally seen boobs-- probably not in the way his mother would prefer.

Anyway, that is my rant for today. I'd love to hear your opinions on this.


Kerry said...

I'm with you, Penelope. They were bottles long before they were sex objects. Get over it, Puritans!

BlueBella said...

First off good for Karen for telling that freakish lady off. Secondly, good for you for celebrating your nakedness everyday. I wish I could walk around naked, too . . .but would probably look better covered in luxurious fur like you. . . and if I had as many boobs as you.

Yay for BOOBS!

Mr. Shife said...

Well lovely Penelope I think I am going to be definitely on the pro-breastfeeding side especially since my lovely wife plans on feeding our baby that way. If people devoted half their time and energy to serious topics like poverty instead stupid stuff like this the world might be a better place.

billy pilgrim said...

it seems like the type of thing that the taliban or some other militant muslims would take offense at.

breast feeding in public for all!

Melissa said...

DON'T GET ME STARTED. This topic makes me so livid I can't think of anything funny to say about it. (I'm on the breast side BTW.)

Anonymous said...

You go Penelope!!!

And I would have given just about anything to witness and hear Karen say that to the raving woman. How awesome was that?

And I would rather see a blanket-laden woman nursing than hear the baby screaming it's head off b/c she won't for fear of offending someone!