I am the Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

My Soon-to-be New Friend

Karen saw this and thought it suited me. After I read it, I have to agree with her. I understand and identify with this Steve Martin. Perhaps I should have Sadie write him a letter, detailing my full comprehension of what it's like to be so beautiful that the rest of the world is resentful just because you are you.

"It's very hard being one of the most beautiful people. Having this kind of beauty is actually a burden. Sometimes I go to a party and not one of the other 49 most beautiful people is there. That makes me feel very solitary and alone, because it means I am the most beautiful person in the room. If I'm going to a party where I know there will be 'less-beautiful people,' I try to 'dress down' in order to hide my beauty. But this seems to have a counter-effect of actually making me more beautiful. I guess me and dungarees are a pretty potent combination. I try not to lord my beauty over others. This is very hard. I try not to mention that I am one of the most beautiful people, but somehow it always comes out. I will usually only bring it up when I'm asked to do a task, like open a garage door. People seem to enjoy my beauty and are genuinely happy for me, because after I mention it they always say, 'How nice for you.'"
-- From People, 20 May 2003, in which Steven Martin was listed as one of the 50 Most Beautiful People.

Anyway, I'm going to have Sadie find this Mr. Martin and email him. Perhaps he'd like to have lunch sometime. We could chat about our beauty being such a burden over that chicken I saw Karen put in the fridge last night. Maybe he has a cell phone. Sadie could call him. Interesting, but enough on that for now. I'm taking a nap.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Rushdie, Baked Beans, and Regis Philbin

I'm a busy cat. I get so frustrated sometimes because no one seems to understand how much I do. Look at what I did today and tell me I'm not busy:

7 am: Woke Up. Sat with Karen as she got dressed for work. Watched The Early Show.

8:30 am: Karen left and turned off the TV. How inconsiderate. She makes me so angry when she does that. But what she doesn't know is I can use the remote.

8:30- 10 am: Morning Nap

10- 11 am: Grooming and Watching Live! With Regis and Kelly. Good to see Regis back.

11- 11:05: Lunch

11:05- 12 pm: Mid morning nap. Note: Allowed Sadie to sleep in bed (this was her hour).

12:00- 1:30 pm: Grooming and watching Ellen. Sadie and I discussed my schedule for tomorrow.

1:30- 1:33: Chased Sadie around the house for no apparent reason.

1:33- 3:30 pm: Took a nap, as tired from chasing Sadie. Halfway listened to Astros game.

3:30- 4 pm: Surfed the Internet. Found great article about Hugh Grant assaulting a photographer with a Tupperware container of baked beans.

4:00- 4:10 pm: Afternoon snack

4:10- 5:45 pm: Discussed ongoing projects with Sadie, who seems to be a little behind schedule. I simply asked her to focus more on her work and she told me to go to Hell.

5:46 pm: Fired personal assistant. Asked her to leave house.

5:47 pm: Realized neither assistant or myself can reach door knob (fire hazard-- must discuss with Karen). Assistant must wait to leave until Karen comes home. However, assistant banned to kitchen in meantime.

5:48 pm: Realized that Karen would not allow Sadie out of the house, as Karen ALWAYS sides with Sadie.

5:49 pm: Sadie forgets she's banished to the kitchen. Pretty sure Sadie forgot she was fired, as find her in the bathtub going over the blue prints for our latest real estate venture.

5:50 pm: Decide it isn't worth explaining to Sadie she has been fired and too tired to interview for new assistant. Rehire Sadie.

5:51- 7 pm: Nap

7- 7:45 pm: Grooming

7:45- 8 pm: Karen arrives home. Since she didn't walk upstairs to say hello, I wander downstairs and find her eating dinner.

8- 8:15 pm: Karen and I discuss our days and watch 30 Rock on the couch. Tell her about Hugh Grant and beans. Karen said the story was tragic at Shakespearean proportions Sadie joined us.

8:15- 8:16 pm: Chase Sadie through house because she sat on couch.

8:17- 9:30 pm: Slept in stairwell

9:30- 10 pm: Worked two advanced level Sudoku puzzles.

10- 10:30 pm: Watched The Daily Show with Karen. Mildly amusing.

10:30- 10:32 pm: Chased dust flakes in the air.

10:33- 11 pm: Read first three chapters of Fury

11:00 pm: Decided it would be amusing to torture Karen by jumping on her face while she tried to sleep. Karen did not like this and told me so.

11:03 pm: Midnight snack

11:08- midnight: Dozed on chair in living room.

12- 12:20 am: Discussed plot to overthrow the leadership with Sadie. Sadie did not know who "leadership" was.

12:20- 12:21 am: Attempted to kill Sadie with my bare, clawless paws.

12:21 am: After a long day, decided to go to bed.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Welcome to My World

I am Penelope, the Bombay cat. I started this blog because I am bored. It will give me something to do between naps and licking myself. I've actually wanted to do this since Christmas, but I just recently got to my typing skills up to par, since stupid Karen won't type for me (like she doesn't have anything better to do with her time).

Anyway, I share my house with two others: Karen, the mortal I previously mentioned to whom I rent space, and Sadie, another cat, who I allow to live with me. Sadie has agreed to help me out with the blog and in exchange I will allow her to sleep for an hour in the bed without trying to kill her. Eventually I will post some pictures of us. Karen takes lots of pictures and if she not too busy doing God knows what, maybe she'll honor us with the effort of finding some. Whatever. Anyway, I'm tired now so I'm going to take a nap. Tomorrow I might write about what I like to do. Maybe I'll write about my exciting day at home. Maybe I won't. Either way you should read because everything I have to say is really important and you should want to be enlightened with my thoughts.