I am the Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Rushdie, Baked Beans, and Regis Philbin

I'm a busy cat. I get so frustrated sometimes because no one seems to understand how much I do. Look at what I did today and tell me I'm not busy:

7 am: Woke Up. Sat with Karen as she got dressed for work. Watched The Early Show.

8:30 am: Karen left and turned off the TV. How inconsiderate. She makes me so angry when she does that. But what she doesn't know is I can use the remote.

8:30- 10 am: Morning Nap

10- 11 am: Grooming and Watching Live! With Regis and Kelly. Good to see Regis back.

11- 11:05: Lunch

11:05- 12 pm: Mid morning nap. Note: Allowed Sadie to sleep in bed (this was her hour).

12:00- 1:30 pm: Grooming and watching Ellen. Sadie and I discussed my schedule for tomorrow.

1:30- 1:33: Chased Sadie around the house for no apparent reason.

1:33- 3:30 pm: Took a nap, as tired from chasing Sadie. Halfway listened to Astros game.

3:30- 4 pm: Surfed the Internet. Found great article about Hugh Grant assaulting a photographer with a Tupperware container of baked beans.

4:00- 4:10 pm: Afternoon snack

4:10- 5:45 pm: Discussed ongoing projects with Sadie, who seems to be a little behind schedule. I simply asked her to focus more on her work and she told me to go to Hell.

5:46 pm: Fired personal assistant. Asked her to leave house.

5:47 pm: Realized neither assistant or myself can reach door knob (fire hazard-- must discuss with Karen). Assistant must wait to leave until Karen comes home. However, assistant banned to kitchen in meantime.

5:48 pm: Realized that Karen would not allow Sadie out of the house, as Karen ALWAYS sides with Sadie.

5:49 pm: Sadie forgets she's banished to the kitchen. Pretty sure Sadie forgot she was fired, as find her in the bathtub going over the blue prints for our latest real estate venture.

5:50 pm: Decide it isn't worth explaining to Sadie she has been fired and too tired to interview for new assistant. Rehire Sadie.

5:51- 7 pm: Nap

7- 7:45 pm: Grooming

7:45- 8 pm: Karen arrives home. Since she didn't walk upstairs to say hello, I wander downstairs and find her eating dinner.

8- 8:15 pm: Karen and I discuss our days and watch 30 Rock on the couch. Tell her about Hugh Grant and beans. Karen said the story was tragic at Shakespearean proportions Sadie joined us.

8:15- 8:16 pm: Chase Sadie through house because she sat on couch.

8:17- 9:30 pm: Slept in stairwell

9:30- 10 pm: Worked two advanced level Sudoku puzzles.

10- 10:30 pm: Watched The Daily Show with Karen. Mildly amusing.

10:30- 10:32 pm: Chased dust flakes in the air.

10:33- 11 pm: Read first three chapters of Fury

11:00 pm: Decided it would be amusing to torture Karen by jumping on her face while she tried to sleep. Karen did not like this and told me so.

11:03 pm: Midnight snack

11:08- midnight: Dozed on chair in living room.

12- 12:20 am: Discussed plot to overthrow the leadership with Sadie. Sadie did not know who "leadership" was.

12:20- 12:21 am: Attempted to kill Sadie with my bare, clawless paws.

12:21 am: After a long day, decided to go to bed.

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