"I'm doin' it with class 'cause I've got a big ass."

I'm going to stop saying I've discovered the most vile "reality" television show.

Every time I say this, I find one just a little bit nastier than the last.

Karen suggested I stop spending so much time watching television and read a little more.

"Don't you have a book review to finish?" Karen asked.

Yes I do. And in good time I'll write it. Karen, who is still on my nasty list (see the post about Halloween), doesn't need to boss me around though. This is my freakin' blog, for Pete's sake. I'll post about whatever or whenever I damn well please.

Anyway, back to "reality" television.

This one is on E!, home of The Anna Nicole Show and the slowest news crawler known to man:

Keeping Up with the Kardashians

Who the Hell are the Kardashians, you ask?

Well, Robert Kardashian was O.J. Simpson's personal attorney. His claim to fame is being the last one to have known contact with the Juice's Louis Vuitton carry on, which eventually came up missing upon returning from Chicago after his ex wife turned up dead.

Kardashian died several years back. So this "reality" show obviously isn't about him.

It's about his ex wife (Kris Jenner), her current husband (Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner), and their children together and with others (a slew-- like five, maybe six), particularly Kim.

So what makes this Kim so friggin' special, you ask???

That was my question. So I looked her up on the web.

According to several web sites (and Wiki), Kim Kardashian is an aspiring model/ actress or something.

Last year a sex tape appeared featuring Kim and her boyfriend (some rapper) and a company attempted to sell it. She sued said company and made a nice chunk of change.

So she's friggin' special in the literal and Biblical sense.

Whatever

Anyway, she's appearing in Playboy soon.

So much for redemption.

Anyway, now you have an idea about the direction of this train wreck. And it gets worse:

Ole Bruce and Kris have a stripper pole in their bedroom. It was a gift. The younger girls like to play on it, much to their father's dismay.

Frequently, Kris and Bruce (a.k.a. "Botox Gone Way Wrong") are mortified about their young children (about ten) behaving in a semi sexual way. As a cat without children, my suggestion would be to take them out of the overtly sexual environment:

1. Stripper Poles
2. Flowing Alcohol
3. Stepsister in Playboy/ feature player in sex tape/ God knows what else
4. Name calling using the word "whore"

I cannot believe I'm doling out parenting advice. First of all I'm a cat. Second, I despise children for very obvious reasons. Finally, I have a very limited experience with children. What the Hell do I know???

Anyway, I'm exhausted. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm considering bashing Barry Bonds tomorrow.