Toxic

Last week I stayed at Karen's parents house. It's a great place to be (lots of windows and furniture to hide under, not to mention several WINDOW SEATS upstairs), but their computer is dead, so I had no Internet access. Thus, no posting and I missed SO MUCH.

Actually, I missed the VMAs. Evidently it was in interesting night:

1. Britney Spears practically naked debacle
Not much to say here. MTV should be ashamed of themselves, taking advantage of a very obviously mentally ill individual. I would boycott them, but I don't watch MTV.
Oh well . . .

2. The Tommy Lee/ Kid Rock's Skirmish
I've seen more sophistication standing outside the firework stands in a red, white and blue bikini. Geez guys you're rich, famous and live in Los Angeles: can't you each find your own "enhanced" skank to hang out with and leave ole Pam alone?

3. Kanye West's Sour Grapes
You know what, Susan Lucci was nominated for best actress in a soap on whatever award show soap opera queens attend, about a million times and didn't win until quite recently. Did she whine and complain? No. Suck it up, Kanye. Stop being so bitter. I almost liked your crazy self during the Hurricane Katrina relief thing, but this is just petty.

Does anyone else find it odd that MTV is hosting the VIDEO MUSIC Awards? From what I've heard, MTV doesn't show much in the area of music videos anymore.

Whatever.

But that was last week. Now we've got O.J. Simpson to discuss.

I love O.J. He defied justice and got away with a double murder. Now he's been accused of robbing a Vegas hotel room, or more technically: "Robbery with a Deadly Weapon". He could face up to 35 years PER COUNT in the poky.

I'd love to say more about this. But I've decided to wait until more information comes out this week.

So stay tuned, readers, stay tuned.

"It's Raining Men"

Has it been a great news week or what???

To quote Anderson Cooper of CNN:

"Is it a crime to flirt in the men's restroom?"

I'll let my male readers answer this question. I'm leaving that one alone.

Anyway, I am about to argue a point for the good Senator Larry Craig.

What, you ask. Penelope, why are you, the fabulous and all knowing cat, defending a man who plead guilty to a crime of George Michael proportions?

Because Craig is totally a victim of politics as usual.

Let me explain:

Just a matter of months ago, Senator David "House of the Rising Sun" Vitter admitted (after he was named by the D.C. madam) to soliciting prostitutes. Was he asked to resign?

No.

Why, you ask, would the Republican Party persecute one skank lover over another?

The answer is very simple: Louisiana has a Democrat for Governor. Idaho has a Republican Governor. If Vitter were to resign, he would be replaced by a . . .

dom- dum- dom

DEMOCRAT

This would not make George happy. It might even make ole Dick curse.

But wait, Penelope. Senator Craig has been a controversial figure for many years. His sexuality has been an issue frequently and he was even investigated for behaving inappropriately with Senate pages.

And Vitter was a virgin to hookerville until recently? His name appeared with the Canal Street madam in 2002.

Please. The whole issue boils down to Senate votes and numbers. This has nothing to do upholding any high standard of morality whatsoever.

Part of me is rooting for Senator Craig. I'd like to see him "stick it to the man".

Was that a poor choice of words?

Oh well . . .

I think CNN spent at least an hour on this issue during prime time.

In the meantime:

The Germans uncovered a terror plot against America.

Fred Thompson announced his candidacy for the presidency (surprise surprise).

And the 'Stros totally got their asses kick (14- 2 Milwaukee)

Not to mention the 3,750 American casualties in Iraq

Anyway . . .

I have a novel idea:

Why not leave it be and let THE VOTERS of the great states of Idaho and Louisiana VOTE THEIR ASSES OUT.

Or keep them. Stranger things have happened (Ted Kennedy, myriad of Texas politicians, etc.)

I can't make rhyme or reason of any of this crap. I'm going to bed and hope to hear nothing about Senator Craig tomorrow.

Not bloody likely though.

A Fun Meme

I decided to do this meme I saw on Thomma Lyn's site Tennessee Text Wrestling:

It's really simple: you answer these questions by using the first letter of your name:

My name: Penelope (the cat)

Famous Singer: Prince

Four letter word: Porn

Street: Pacific Avenue

Color: Pumpkin

Gifts/Presents: Petunias

Vehicle: Porshe

Things in a Souvenir Shop: Pens

Boy Name: Patrick

Girl Name: Prudence

Movie Title: Pretty Woman

Drink: Peach Scnaps

Occupation: Police Officer

Celebrity: Penelope Ann Miller

Magazine: Penthouse

U.S. City: Pittsburg

Pro Sports: Pingpong

Fruit: Pear

Reason for Being Late for Work: Pooped Out

Something You Throw Away: Poop

Things You Shout: Piss Off!!!

Cartoon Character: Peppy la Pew

That was fun!!! Everyone should try it.

What Would Molly Do?

Today is Molly Ivins' birthday. She would be 63.

Ivins is one of the greatest political writers ever-- period. She coined the nicknames "shrub" and "good hair" for President Bush and Governor Perry respectively. She wrote for the Texas Observer and The New York Times, amongst other publications. In January, Ivins died after a long bout with breast cancer.

Here are some of my favorite Ivins quotes:

"We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war."

By the way, there are now 3,728 American casualties in Iraq.

"Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that."

"So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was."

"If left to my own devices, I'd spend all my time pointing out that he's (Bill Clinton) weaker than bus-station chili. But the man is so constantly subjected to such hideous and unfair abuse that I wind up standing up for him on the general principle that some fairness should be applied. Besides, no one but a fool or a Republican ever took him for a liberal."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.”
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[On then-President George H. W. Bush] "Personally, I think he's further evidence that the Great Scriptwriter in the sky has an overdeveloped sense of irony."

If you would like to read some of Ivins' columns here are a list:

http://www.texasobserver.org/molly_work.php

Go 'Stros!!!

Nobody puts Putin in the Corner

Before I begin, I would like to point out that Dirty Dancing might be the stupidest movie ever created. I know it has a following and if you're a fan, I'm sorry to mention your taste sucks.

Anyway Lionsgate is suing over a trademark infringement:

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/va/20070822/118777201900.html

I'm really not interested in legalities. Bottom line: it's a stupid movie which made WAY more money than any stupid movie should ever make.

T shirt companies are giving it free advertising.

Who cares?

Lionsgate should have to pay a fine for lowering the collective IQ.

Anyway . . .

The man.

The myth.

The 54- year- old dude sans shirt.

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/what-was-vladimir-thinking/20070822142109990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001

Being that I am a well informed cat, I opt not to criticize ANYONE formerly associated with the KGB. It just seems safer that way. With that in mind, despite being 54 Vladimir Putin looks pretty good topless. This shouldn't be surprising, as once again, HE'S FORMER KGB.

I'm guessing that Putin is so physically and mentally trained he probably sleeps with one eye open. The newspapers are saying this is supposedly some PR/ "I'm macho" move.

Perhaps.

Who are we to judge? Ole George clears brush in Texas to show his machismo.

He usually wears a shirt though.

Whose more macho: Vladimir "I took care of things in the Cold War era" Putin or George "I took care of the keg and God knows what else during the Cold War era" Bush???

Would the topless approach work in the states?

Presidential candidates without a shirt. Interesting . . .

I'm seeing Dennis Kucinich walking along the beach.

How about John McCain mowing the lawn?

Or Rudy Giuliani chewing on a cigar, overseeing a craps game in the back yard?

John Edwards fishing?

Mitt Romney . . . I don't know. I don't think ole Mitt is ever topless. I think he even wears clothes in the shower.

Whatever

Go 'Stros.