I am the Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Just in Time for Back to School

A New York City high school principal hired her neighbor to perform a Santeria ritual to rid the school of "negative energy".

Once again, I could not make this up:


The way I look at it, you gotta do what you gotta do. Kids are bad. All of them. I have no use for the whole lot. The little ones eat out of my bowl and pull my tail and then I get into trouble when I make any attempt upon their life. As they get older they progress into shooting water guns in my direction. And then I'm expected to be nice?

Yeah, that's going to happen.

Anyway, over the winter break last school year, this principal hired her neighbor to perform a ritual involving chicken blood, cigar smoking, and incense on the fourth floor of the high school.

When the teachers returned to work they did notice the strange smoky air and the smell of incense.

They probably blamed it on the kids.

She invited the assistant principal to join her. She also coerced her out of $900 to pay for part of the ritual.

I asked Karen what she would do if her boss asked her to join in a Santeria ritual and then expected her to pay for it. She said she would first stall her boss by mentioning trying to get an "educator's discount" out of the neighbor.

Finally, Karen would totally fink out her boss.

"There's is no way I'd give $900 for a ritual cleansing," she told me. "Removal of negative energy is not in my job description and I'd tell my boss that most articulately."

I would now like to point out that THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN TEXAS.

Strange things in the public school system.

I blame John Dewey.

Go 'Stros.

Hank Aaron Rules


Thomma Lyn said...

Great Scott! I think that's the weirdest thing I've read in at least a week.

And Penelope, I enjoy your tongue-in-cheek (whisker-in-cheek?) sense of humor. :)

My four kitties send you purrs! You are a beautiful cat. :)

Penelope said...

Tomma Lyn, you are so kind. You also have quite a keen eye for sophisticated dialogue.

I enjoy reading your blogs too. Your kitties are quite entertaining as well.

-- P