So Goes My Fabulous Self

Probably you already know this.

Probably you have April 25th circled in red on your personal calendars and have already begun talking amongst yourselves about appropriate gifts. I'm guessing someone has reserved Bungalow Eight for a private party.

I'm assuming that we'll spend the evening drinking martinis and talking about how fabulous I am. I can't drink much though as I weigh a mere thirteen pounds.

Anyway, for those of you who are not so culturally aware, April 25th is my one year anniversary as a blogger. I've thought of all kinds of things to commemorate this monumental day; the drunken freakin' rednecks I'm sure will shoot off fireworks. (They've done it every night this week-- why would Friday be any different???)

President Bush will probably hold a press conference and mention that Friday is now Penelope the Cat day. I'm guessing Senators Clinton, McCain, and Obama will drop my name in campaign speeches as well.

What shall they say???

Well, I'm not going to tell you what they will say. You should just watch CNN to find out, as I can't imagine they won't cover it.

Karen told me not to hold my breath. But she isn't as culturally astute as the rest of us.

So Friday, you should tell your friends to celebrate Penelope the Cat day by, well, doing what I would do:

1. Nap
Napping is very important, you know. Doing my job requires a lot of energy, so I must sleep at least eighteen hours a day.

2. Groom

I must look ever so fabulous, so about one of my three waking hours is spent in hair and make up (mainly hair).

3. Eat

A gals got to eat. I just wish I could get a hold of that chicken in the fridge.

4. Chase Sadie (or any other run of the mill pion willing to be chased)

Sadie is such an easy target. It's just too easy . . .

5. Sit on Karen's face (again, or any run of the mill pion)
I have needs. If my needs aren't met, I have to get testy. Time is not my concern; Karen needs to take care of her job, even if it's two in the morning when I run out of food.

6. Blog

How would you people know what to do if it weren't for my blog? You probably would be voting for actors and rednecks and Lady Macbeth and confused Baptist ministers and ambulance chasers and lawyers and . . .

Whoops

Well, keep reading. You clearly need guidance.

7. Read a book.
Right now I'm reading Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse- Five in honor of my good friend Billy Pilgrim (kind of). I love Vonnegut-- his writing is so simple yet so profound.

Anyway, it's been a lovely year. I've made many a fabulous blog friend, which is great since my social life pretty much consists of Karen and Sadie, with the occasional trips to Karen's parents and a semi regular confrontation with the evil Jeff.

I love you all.

Go 'Stros