I am the Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

"It's not collagen-- it's silicone"

If you know anything about me, you know I despise "reality" shows, particularly "reality" shows with the sole purpose of self promotion.

I use quotation marks around the word "reality" because I question that concept. Those shows are not reality. They are contrived distortions of backbiting self-centered individuals, clawing their way to a spread in Playboy, or a date with-- I don't know, someone who values "reality" shows.

Anyway, VH-1 is the leader in the crap genre. When I discovered Rock of Love and Scott Baio is 45 . . . and Single I thought I hit rock bottom. But noooooooooooooo, it CAN get worse.

America's Most Smartest Model

First of all, this is GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT. What self-respecting model who claims intelligence would be on a show with a blazing grammatical error in its title??? Makes no sense to me. . .

Oh, but it gets better.

First competition was a spelling bee. This girl with giant lips had to spell "collagen".

Hee Hee

And then she said, "but my lips aren't collagen-- they're silicone".


Anyway, I'm not doubting the intelligence of any of these characters (even silicone girl), but this parade does border on the absurd.

In the living quarters, the bathrooms are pass coded and a question appears above the keypad.

Question one on the bathroom:

What year did Christopher Columbus discover America?

First of all, one learns in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL that Christopher Columbus, in 1492, discovered perhaps Central America or the Bahamas.

So yeah, this is quite a challenge.

I guess the producers valued the carpet in the living quarters over challenging questions.



Reb said...

Frankly, I didn't think that it could get worse than that bug eating one! I guess our imaginations just don't drag that far down! Every fall, I think: "This is the one, the year when "reality" shows will gasp their last collective breath"

Alas, we so far have not been blessed with that event. This year seems promising, at least from my point of view. I don't have cable or satellite though, so that may have a lot to do with it. Ah, peasant view...at least I can still get stuff on antenna - lol!

Thomma Lyn said...

Oh... dear. I didn't know what kind of programming VH-1 was doing these days -- the last time I checked it out was way back when it did soft-rock videos (and dinosaurs roamed the earth) ;-), but it sounds as though not only has VH-1 hit rock-bottom with its programming but has dug a hole in the rock.

the Bag Lady said...

I guess reality is relative. My reality consists of trying to avoid reality at all costs! I used to think that was what television was all about! I must confess, I have never watched a single 'reality' show...well, except the 6 o'clock news. Far as I'm concerned, that's enough reality for me - pass the wine, reality is intruding!
Oh, and that grammatical abomination "most smartest"? There is a radio commercial here with a similar usage that drives me CRAZY everytime I hear it. ("Back to School is the most busiest time of the year" GRRR - the ad copy-writer could benefit from going back to school!!)

Penelope said...


I've decided that TV writers are either too expensive or way lazy, which is the reason for post 20th century crap TV.

When I asked Karen what she likes to watch, she said "Frasier, Friends, Will and Grace, and Letterman" only one of these isn't currently in syndication.

-- P

Penelope said...

Thomma Lyn--

That's what Karen said. She also told me back then (when dinosaurs roamed the earth) that MTV was known for MUSIC television and people didn't meander about with cell phones attached to their ears. Furthermore, Madonna was infamous for being provacative, and George Bush was the goof of a son of the president who was part owner of the Texas Rangers.

How times do change.

-- P

Penelope said...

Bag Lady--

I'm glad this grammatical issue is not exclusively limited to America.

I thought it was an aftershock caused by the leader of the free world (who shall remain nameless, of course) saying, "As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured".


-- P

Anonymous said...

Um, I guess you didn't get that the grammatical error (most smartest) is a joke. The whole show is a joke, really.

Penelope said...

Dear Anonymous,

Um, yes I did get the joke. Actually I was hoping it was irony, as in anyone appearing on a show titled "Most Smartest" whatever would probably not be concerned about the "most smartest" element and interested in exposure.

Either way, as of this weekend it lost its crown as the most vile of the "reality" genre: I discovered "Meet the Kardashians" (sp???)

-- P