I am the Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Your Challenge, Should You Choose to Accept It . . .

I got this idea from Reid over at "Reid About It" (link under favorite links).

Basically, I've agreed to post every day this month. Quite a challenge for someone who posts no more than twice a week.

So this is my introductory post. I don't have a lot to say in general.

But specifically . . .

Heather Mills

Ms. Mills:

I totally get that you feel demonized by the British media, who can be quite nasty from time to time. However, my advice would be to take the 100 million (pounds? euros? fish n' chips? whatever) and run. Who cares about the gag order? So you don't get to make another twenty million off a tell all book deal, trashing the "cute Beatle". You've got a hundred million smackers. The rest is insignificant. Keep a shred of your dignity and do another season of Dancing with the Stars. Put the rest behind you, chalking it up as a learning experience.

But most importantly, do stop crying on talk shows. Divorce is hard. I get it. But did you think you'd come out of this smelling like a flower? Did you honestly think your ex would stand up and say, "Ole Heather is a great gal. It's all my fault." Separation isn't that pretty, sweetheart, particularly when billions are at stake.

Welcome to reality.

-- P

5 comments:

Crabby McSlacker said...

I'm so out of it I don't know who she is.

But I'm thrilled we get more Penelope! Be sure to take lots of naps to keep up your strength. A cat of your refinement should not exhaust yourself with too rigorous a schedule.

Reb said...

Why is she even still news? Did she do anything other than marry Paul?

I am glad you will be posting daily, but as Crabby pointed out, we do not want you to exhaust yourself.

the Bag Lady said...

The Bag Lady thirds that emotion...more Penelope can only be a good thing.
And the Bag Lady admires your restraint when you told Heather to take the money and RUN--the Bag Lady automatically substituted hobble, stump, thud...whatever...you get the picture.

Travis Erwin said...

And I'm sure she can get a spot on one of those VH1 reality shows if she needs a bitmore cash.

She might even get lucky and be able to share a room with Vanilla Ice since she has a thing for musicians.

Penelope said...

Crabby--

How did you miss this trainwreck:

Heather "ole one-leg" Mills???

Married to Paul McCartney???

No prenump???

Big freakin' drama???



Reb--

I think she does charity work associated with landminds and such. Other than the Dancing With the Stars gig, ole one leg is a retired model.


Bag Lady--

Damn! I should have said "take the money and hobble off into the sunset". I totally can't believe I missed that opportunity to be a smart ass.



Travis--

That would be great: Heather Mills is 40 . . . and Single (again) and worth 100 million whatever. They could line her up with dates.


-- P