What can I say today?
Actually, I don't have much to say at all. Life has been kind of boring this week.
I noticed the other day two of our neighbors have large posters of naked ladies in their garages. I thought this was interesting, so I asked Karen to go and take some pictures for me to share with you guys. And she refused.
"I am not going to sneak into anyone's garage to take pictures of a poster of a naked woman so you can post them on the internet," she told me. "My neighbors might be redneck misogynists, but that's an invasion of their privacy.
"Besides, one in three homeowners in Texas are gun owners."
There is no way anyone on our street even knows what "misogynists" means. They just don't. Furthermore, from what I gather with the garages used as living rooms, I don't think anyone is too worried about privacy.
As far as the guns go, well, that's just a part of life. Karen should be willing to take a bullet for the blog.
Don't you think?
So because Karen is such a freakin' girl, I can't show you the naked garage women in all of their coolness.
Anyway . . .
Both Barack and Hillary are in Texas this week. I'm excited about this because it's been a long freakin time since Texas actually mattered in the primaries. This is ridiculous, by the way. It makes absolutely no sense that stupid freakin' Iowa gets to go first. What the crap do they contribute? Besides, it's cold there.
I was thinking that I should interview both of these characters for my glorious readers. So I asked Karen if she would schedule them for interviews at the house. I was willing to offer them a lunch which Karen would prepare before she left for work.
Karen refused to help me with this as well.
"I don't personally know either Senator Obama or Senator Clinton," she told me. "Besides, I don't want Bill Clinton in my house. He creeps me out."
I didn't invite Bill Clinton. He can hang out in the neighbors' garages for all I care.
I have got to get a better staff.
Anyway, I need your help. Could you please call Senator Obama and Senator Clinton for me? Tell them to shoot me an email and I'd be more than happy to schedule them into my busy day.
I'm pooped out. Get those calls made. The Senators I'm sure will be very interested in spending an afternoon with me, as I am an incredibly relevant cat.
But not that long of an afternoon. Remember I sleep eighteen hours a day.