I am the Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Give Me Freedom or Expect Trouble

Karen spent today boxing up stuff in the house in preparation for our impending move. She'd get a box from the garage and start placing items in it which we won't be needing immediately. At first I sat on the stairs, watching her, and dozed. Then she started packing the chenille throws.

I like the throws.

I frequently sleep on them during my midday naps.

So it shouldn't surprise you that I didn't want Karen to pack them. It also shouldn't surprise you that I jumped in the box when she walked into the kitchen to retrieve a Diet Pepsi.

Then suddenly she threw a quilt in the box, right on top of me. This didn't make me happy, so I jumped out of the box in a fury. Karen wasn't expecting this and she stumbled backwards and landed on the stairs.

After a few profane statements, Karen got up and continued packing. I jumped back in the box. Karen then picked me up and tried to sit me on the couch.

This was unacceptable.

So I bit her on the hand.

Then she smacked me on the head and said I was "naughty".

Oh please. I'm not a child. Children are naughty. I'm assertive.

Anyway, I got out of her reach and jumped back in the box. Karen picked me up again. This time she dropped me in the downstairs bathroom and closed the door before I could escape.

I kind of like the downstairs bathroom. Since no one is "housed" so to speak in the downstairs bathroom, the counters don't have a bunch of crap on them, as opposed to the counters in Karen's bathroom.

Anyway . . .

I turned on the water in the sink because I was thirsty. Karen didn't seem to care since I was out of her hair in the packing process. However, before I turned on the water I'd sat in the sink, in the process activating the plug.

Water filled the sink and began hitting the floor.

This is NOT my fault. Karen has no right to lock me up. It's wrong.

When Karen heard the water hit the tile, she came in screaming at me about "Driving her nuts".

"Do you want to destroy my house?" she said to me, waving her hands all about. "Do you really?"

I wasn't moving towards mass destruction, no. I was just thirsty and bored.

Anyway, I'm tired of hearing about "destroying the house". I'm going upstairs to take a nap.


k said...

moving sux. good luck!

the Bag Lady said...

Penelope, you have the Bag Lady's sympathy. Sounds as though Karen is a wee bit stressed, and it's probably only going to get worse! Try to be patient and understanding. She has a lot of work ahead of her, and it will probably cut into the time she is supposed to be catering to your needs. This, too, shall pass.

Travis Erwin said...

You should have drank from the toilet like a good pet. ~ Travis's Chesapeake Bay Retriever, Gypsy

Reb said...

Poor Penelope! I imagine Karen is very stressed, but for her to pack the throws! Well, they will be unpacked soon enough at the new abode. Good luck with the move.

SUV MAMA said...


Penelope, you are hilarious.

Be nice to Karen. Selling houses is about as much fun as living in a house full of dogs.

Dawn said...

Berry and Diesel from New Zealand also endorse drinking from the toilet as a sure fire way of;
a. getting a refreshing drink
b. annoying your owner
c. getting their attention which can then be used to your advantage.

If you still don't have their undivided attention, go and give them a very loving "face rub" straight after drinking from the toilet - that usually works!

Once you have Karen's attention, then you can discuss this moving house business and how all your things are the last to be packed - in case you need them.

robyn's nest said...

Poor Penelope!
Here's a post by another cat who feels your pain (though I'm sure this cat is only ordinary!).

Merry said...

Children are naughty. I'm assertive.

Yeah, you show her ;)

Crabby McSlacker said...


Oh wait, we're planning to move our cat cross-country in a few weeks--perhaps not so amusing after all...

Nah, it was still really funny.