I am the Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

It's Nacho Cheese, Please


Karen ran to the grocery store this weekend for her mom. She needed several things, including a box of Velveeta cheese.

So Karen drove to the market down the street from her parent's house. This is the grocery store where her mom used to shop when she was a young child, although it has changed hands a number of times over the years. Anyway she found everything on the list except the Velveeta cheese.

She looked in all the obvious places, including next to the other cheeses, with the milk, and all around the refrigerator section. Frustrated, she finally gave up. When she got to the check out line she asked the checker.

"It's on aisle seventeen, next to the wine," the checker told her, as if it were obvious

What???

Are we that unsophisticated at Karen's house? We were not under the impression that Velveeta cheese was served with wine.

It's almost worth clarifying.

Velveeta?

You know, the cheese sold in giant blocks, used for things like nacho cheese dip???

On the wine aisle.
So next time you go to a swanky cocktail party you should ask for a cracker and some Velveeta to clear your palate.

I guess it has so many preservatives it doesn't need refrigeration. But with the wine?

This makes no sense.
If I wasn't putting it with the other cheeses, I'd place it next to the Rotel Tomatoes, or the tortilla chips.

But what do I know? I'm a cat and I've never even been to the grocery store, as the man won't allow me inside. Something about "sanitary" reasons, which is completely stupid, as I'm far more clean than your run of the mill four- year- old.
And they are permitted everywhere.
If the grocery store is anything like PetSmart, I have no interest anyway. All sorts of dogs reek havoc on that place. Some of them are like horses. Not to mention it smells like a combination of urine and wet canine.

Anyway, Karen was so amazed by the whole Velveeta next to the wine thing, that the woman shopping in her purple bathrobe was merely icing for the trip.

5 comments:

Reb said...

Yes, it was probably right next to Muskatel (?) or Baby Duck, you know, the top quality wines. ;)

I haven't had Velveeta since Adam was a yearling, I'm sure.

the Bag Lady said...

The Bag Lady can't remember where the Velveeta was in the grocery store the last time she bought some. She does know that it wasn't near the wine (one cannot buy liquor in grocery stores in Canada - at least not to her knowledge). The other thing she remembers is her shock at the price. The cost of all those preservatives must have skyrocketed in recent years. There isn't any dairy in that stuff, so the Bag Lady figures orange food colouring must be expensive!

Crabby McSlacker said...

I'm not exactly sophisticated--my wine of choice is two buck chuck from Trader Joes.

However, even I wouldn't waste my cup 'chuck by having it with velveeta.

Leah J.Utas said...

I miss Velveeta. It's been so long since I had it I wouldn't know what wine to serve with it.

Travis Erwin said...

Ummm ... cheese.

Hey where did the summer sausage go?

Oh, it's next to the caviar. That makes sense.