I am the Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Other Thoughts on Ass Hats

First of all, I'd like to give a shout out to Mr. Shife. I linked him on my list of favorite blogs to your right.

Anyway, Mr. Shife used a most descriptive and appropriate phrase today. I wouldn't do it justice with a description, so I'll just use it:

"Ass Hats"

What does this even mean? I don't know, but doesn't it paint an awesome picture? I just love it:

Ass Hats

I'm going to start working it into the conversation.

Anyway . . .

Speaking of "ass hats" . . .

Penelope the Cat's Version of What Not to Wear

Dear Senator Clinton:

I understand that the world is totally giving you a raw deal, going after you physically in a way they wouldn't dare towards a man. But please do yourself a favor and DON'T wear the red suit to the State of the Union Address.

It reeks of Scarlet O'Hara, which isn't much better than Lady Macbeth.

Yes, we watched the State of the Union. This is because our flicker broke and Karen hasn't bought a new one yet. Karen didn't get up and change the station either because she is LAZY. So we were watching The State of the Union when I'm sure somewhere on the four million stations provided by our local cable company a really bad "reality" show existed.

Primary Questions
Katie Couric interviewed each of the presidential candidates and asked them what one book they would bring with them if they were elected president other than the Bible.

The responses were interesting:

John McCain: Wealth of Nations (Adam Smith)
Never read it. It's economics.

Barack Obama: Team of Rivals (Doris Kearns Goodwin)
Haven't read this one either. It's a Lincoln biography and from the Amazon description, I might try it.

Mitt Romney: John Adams (David McCullough)
I read this two or three years ago and enjoyed it for the same reason that ole Mitt did: I thought the relationship between John and Abigail Adams was sweet. This is not, however, my favorite McCullough-- I prefer Truman.)

Mike Huckabee: Whatever happened to the Human Race? (Francis Schaeffer and C. Everett Koop)
Never read it. It's about abortion, basically. Reader reviews are good. Only three copies are left on Amazon.

John "Senator Good Hair" Edwards: Trial of Socrates (I.F. Stone)
This is an interesting choice. One needs to know that ole I.F. is a rabble rousing journalist. (Is there anything better???) He plays the devil's advocate well. Anyway, The Trial of Socrates is worth reading if only because of the non martyr version of the philosopher.

Hillary Clinton: The Constitution (Thomas Jefferson) and The Federalist Papers (Alexander Hamilton, John Jay, and James Madison)
First of all, this response was made in snippiness and used as an attack against George the Sequel. I'm not necessarily against snippiness and general ruthlessness towards the boy who would be king, but the comment about the current White House loosing their copy was unnecessary. Just answer the damn question, Hillary. Take the high road. You'll look better in the end.

Anyway, Karen read The Federalist Papers in high school government class (Ms. Kellow, her favorite teacher, assigned it). This is a collection of writings to New Yorkers, appearing in a variety of journals, advocating the ratification of the U.S. constitution. Americans should read them.

Rudy Guiliani: The Federalist Papers

He claims to have a copy in his desk drawer at work.

I wasn't planning on discussing these choices. My plan was merely to mock the idea and to point out that most of these yahoos had their assistants reading such pretentious titles.

But then I was moved for about ten seconds and found each somewhat thoughtful and sincere.

I came to my senses when Hillary started bitching about the current presidency, though.

Anyway, here are some responses I, Penelope the cat, think would be far more entertaining and possibly a little closer to the truth:

"When I look for guidance I go to L. Ron"

"You know, I'm not much of a reader. I fall asleep watching reruns of Seinfeld"

"Anarchist Cookbook"

"My wife prefers Morelli over Ranger."

"Penthouse" (this is only funny if said stone cold serious)

"Catcher in the Rye"

"Books are obsolete now that Al Gore created the Internet."

"Dude, did you see that new one about Tom Cruise? Man, has Katie Holmes painted herself into a corner!"

"I prefer burning to reading." (another one only funny deadpan)

"I really like those Danielle Steele novels. I read them all afternoon while sitting on the couch, drinking Diet Coke and listening to Dr. Phil."

"I now know what women think, thanks to Dr. Gray."

4 comments:

Travis Erwin said...

Like your answers, and I agree Shife is one funny dude.

Geosomin said...

:) asshat...a fave insult of mine. Asshats with Clown Shoes are ones who are particularly annoying ...

Mr. Shife said...

Well I am so glad that ass hat had such a profound impact on you. Use it well and use it often. I have not read hardly any of those books but I do prefer your answers better.
Thanks for stopping by and hope to see you around more often.

SUV MAMA said...

LOL! Great post.

Obama's response is a little strange. Great, fantastic book and yes, READ IT- and I would normally be singing the praises of this book (because I loved it and it's still on my night table) but it's not in the same league as, say, the Federalist Papers.