I am the Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

The Way Things Ought to Be

During the Republican debate, Mitt Romney was asked what he disliked most about America. He couldn't come up with an answer. For this reason, I, Penelope the Cat, will tell Mr. Romney what is wrong with America.:

Paris Hilton Going to Jail. I asked Sadie, my personal assistant, if one was allowed to operate a motor vehicle with a suspended driver's license and her response was "What's a license?" For this, I, once again, made an attempt on her life.
My point is, with incompetent help, how can I (or she) be expected for follow these petty frivolous societal rules like if your driver's license has been "suspended" for driving 70 mph sans headlights through night time LA traffic, this means no driving at all?
What if I have things to do?
What if I get a reality show? (It's in development right now, you know.)
Does that mean I still can't drive?
Evidently, the answer to that question is yes, if this driver's license is suspended one cannot drive, as Paris discovered the hard way.
This particular issue doesn't have much to do with me. Karen is my driver and when she isn't doing other things like working she pretty much takes me wherever I want to go.
Anyway, if you want to "free Paris" there are a couple of websites with petitions. It's great: her situation is compared to Gerald Ford's decision to pardon Richard Nixon after Watergate. I don't know where these are. Find them yourself, if you so choose.

George Bush. You know about Barney, the president's terrier-- first dog, if you will. You probably also know about Miss Beazley as well. These two have their own website and two short features on the White House web site.
You probably don't know about India, the first cat. Why would that be, you ask? Because the commander-in-chief is more than happy to give those insipid dogs, who jump out of his arms to run across the White House lawn for no apparent reason, major coverage and completely snub the one who probably is running the country as we speak. And then on her minimalist information page, the author mentions that India's favorite book is If You Take a Mouse to the Movies, as if that cat is reading such drivel. I have a few contacts in D.C. and from what I heard, India is right in the middle of a Sinclair Lewis classic, It Can't Happen Here.
Anyway, I think you ought to write President Bush a letter about this. Forget Iraq, forget high gas prices, forget weapons of mass destruction, or whatever issue is eating you and keeping George the Sequel's approval rating at 28 percent. Let him know that India deserves EQUAL TIME. Sadie is working on a petition, mentioning that it would be nice if the White House rectified this grave issue. When it's ready, she'll let you know.

For today that's all I have. I'll let you know if I come up with any other pertinent issues which need to be addressed. I'm tired-- it's time for a nap.


Dawn said...

Because you're a cat of discernment and experience, Penelope, I've come to you for advice. I've just won a Thinking Blogger Award. Do you think I should curtsey when I receive the Award or is that going too far? I've never won an award before and I do so want to make sure I do the right thing.

Penelope said...

Dear Dawn--

I am so glad to see you, as a reader, can appreciate discernment and experience. Frequently I am taken for granted.

Truthfully, I would never curtsey. But I truly am far superior to most, if not all creatures.

You must know your audience and understand your place in the universe. Is this award being presented by Queen Elizabeth? If it is, you might need to curtsey, as she seems to expect that. As an American, I do not expect such formalities from those around me.

Those are my thoughts. I have to go. It is now time for my late afternoon nap.


Dawn said...

Thank you so much, Your Purrship. I do apoligise if I encroached into your nap time.

Penelope said...

It's fine. Anytime I can help human kind, I try to make an effort.

-- P