I am the Elizabeth Taylor of the feline world.

Friday, July 27, 2007

"I can't get into trouble. I'm a celebrity."

Everybody is talking about ole Lindsay Lohan.

Let me give you the reader's digest version of this train wreck from the point of view of some dudes in attendance at one of her parties in Malibu:

These three guys were at a party with Lohan. At some point during the evening Lohan, her assistant, and her assistant's boyfriend got into an allegedly drunken squabble. During this disagreement, the assistant quits. Lohan was not happy.

I totally understand how Lohan feels. Good help is impossible to find. Mediocre help is available, though. The best way to keep them is to scream at them and demean said help into staying. That's how I keep Sadie around.

Anyway, the assistant and her boyfriend leave the party separately. The boyfriend gets into a car with his three friends. His girlfriend pulls him out and they continue their fight. Eventually, the assistant drives away. In the meanwhile, Lohan grabs the keys out of the car (which belonged to one of the boyfriend's friends), gets in, and peels out, running over a dude's foot in the process.

This dude is not happy.

Remember this is all "alleged". I did not try to consult Lohan on any of this.

I figured she was too busy.

In the meanwhile, Lohan had two unwilling passengers with her as she drives through town. According to them they are begging her to stop and let them out. They said she was driving speeds upwards of 100 mph.

Through Malibu

Evidently, Lohan was chasing the assistant. The assistant lost Lohan, so Lohan drove to the assistant's mother's house, who was leaving home or going home (depends who you ask). This woman drove immediately to the police station when she realized an erratic driver was chasing her.


Anyway, one thing lead to another and Lohan was arrested for several things. She bonded herself out at $25,000.


I asked Karen about this. She said she would stop recognizing the existence of California as a state if they didn't get control of their court system and its celebrities.

Whatever. All this reporting had made me tired. It's time for my early morning nap.


Crabby McSlacker said...

Thank you for the summary, Penelope. I haven't been able to bring myself to read about/watch this stuff from conventional sources as their obsessive coverage of celebrities instead of actual news makes me want to puke. Yet, I felt left out from now knowing what everyone was talking about.

Any time you want to report on f*cked up celebrities, please do. I'd much rather read it here where I don't end up feeling dirty.

Penelope said...

I just love a ridiculous celebrity. It's like a bad traffic accident you can't stop watching.

I just saw somewhere she has a movie coming out this weekend. Any connection? Who knows.